reconstructing fossils

keep it together

2009-07-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

it is too hot today.
my apartment doesn't have AC and i'm upstairs.
imagine the fun!
plus i had to ride my bike home in this heat, while wearing jeans and boots.
and then i had to do two loads of laundry.
PLUS i should be cleaning my house!
i am kind of working on it.
had to get up by 4AM the past two days and tomorrow, the same.
but it's nice to get off early, but then it's hotter than the dickens (hi i am a grandma) and i have household chores to do...

it's okay! i'm still happy as a lark.

in my mind

2009-07-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

i'm a nerd.

hide
my mom went to disneyland and all i got was this measly t-shirt. no i like it, actually. it suits me well.

if you're happy and you know it

2009-07-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

trough
i have fifty pics of this.

patriotic scrunchie
i DO have grey hairs. btw. several. can't see 'em here for some reason. must be the flash?

i call this stuff 'natural sculpture'

rocky cliff

woah. vertiginous how did i even TAKE that pic?

swishin
floral vest

workin on this adding lots of flowers and greenery and then probably need to make the girl look 'not so dead'
i have a lot of trouble typing the word sculpture.

dear

2009-07-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

this is pretty much my back yard.

these guys roam freely about town like they own the place.

i totally don't mess with 'em. they could kick my butt!

painting in a new start

2009-07-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

this is a post about hamburgers.

sprouts are better than iceberg lettuce.

mixed baby greens are also better than iceberg lettuce.

i love hamburgers
bacon is also good.

i've been in my mind

2009-07-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

here come a bunch of nature pics.

how do you like the composition?

see the bird?
there it is

well maybe that's not a 'bunch' of shots. but that's all i've got for now.

tomorrow

2009-07-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

heirloom mater
this is what i call a 'real tomato'
it grew on a farm, ripened on a vine, was hand picked and brought to sell at the farmer's market right down the road from where it was grown.
YES! the only thing better is growing it yourself.

this picture is painted on the store window of my NEW PLACE of EMPLOYMENT!!!!!
woohoo! yay!

i am very lucky, kind of. this job market is crazy!
the time and annoying effort i put into my resume and cover letter (and i applied at like fifty places over the past two months) got me lots of interviews. most of the places where i interviewed had stacks of applications, some receive at least twenty per day. the place that just hired me said they could easily interview twenty people tomorrow for this same job. whew! tough!

anyway, i am flattered to have been chosen and very grateful and will now proceed to make the best of it. my attitude is "how may i help you?"

small claims

2009-07-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

i have like fifty pics of fireworks, similar to these two. many are swishy swirly arty lightshow-looking.

look i added an ironic wolf to my ironic moon painting someone please pay me money for it
this water claims to soothe ones soul

it used to be different

2009-07-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

lemon cuke from the farmers market. crunchy!

i am obsessed with mustard and sour things because i am a sourpuss.
i love sauerkraut and pickles and pickled peppers. i squeezed pickled pepper juice on this sandwich and also stuffed it with pepperoncini. mmmmmm. the meat was pastrami.
NO shredded iceberg sorry and thank you very much.
i'd take spinach leaves or sprouts or leafy green lettuce if they'd had that.
i'm glad subway has spinach leaves. they've got THAT goin' for 'em.

quaking aspen
i am in love with nature.

some days

2009-07-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

aren't vegetables beautiful?

amish moon pies

amish breads

i wish i knew the answers

relax

2009-07-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

trying to catch up on posting with the pics i already have uploaded before i upload the two hundred new pics i've taken in the past few days.

my son prefers the canned ravioli to this concoction i whipped up.

floral dress i've had for over a year and worn maybe twice.
the reason i don't love it is that it has no 'give' or 'stretch' which is good-looking but not comfortable.

taste it

2009-07-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

i was planning on starting in on the Independence Day Weekend Festivities early today, but i have a business appointment at 2PM so i've been cleaning my house like crazy just to keep busy.

last night went on a debaucherous night hike with some Greyhounds. got all scratched up by twigs. bitten by skeeters.

private eyes are watching you

2009-07-02T13:37:00.000-07:00

i had to do a bunch of errands today and while i was out and about i noticed some people wearing some pretty ridiculous things. granted it is really hot, but
some women wear things that are just crazy. this one woman, a mother, whose little boy looked to be about three yrs old, was wearing sweat shorts so short over an inch of each buttcheek hung out the bottom and suffice it to say she was not 'fit'
but this was at walmart, so, i suppose it's to be expected, non?

i was brought up to be extremely modest and un-sexual in the way i dress, so i feel totally self conscious even wearing shorts which show 3/4 of my thighs. i'll wear them in the house alone, but it seems wrong to dress that way when children are present.

recently i was out in public and this mother/woman was sort of rough-housing with her son and she was wearing some kind of dress where her boobs were 3/4 of the way revealed. i mean, yeah, our kids are kind of intimately familiar with breasts, but after about 2 yrs of age... they shouldn't be playthings for our kids.

oh well. sometimes i am prudish. now, it's a different story when i am not in 'public'. you know? private vs. public, social norms, etc....

you can blog if you want to

2009-07-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

took a little walk on the recently discovered trails which are basically right in my backyard. Fun! I wanted to paint outdoors. i took a mini picnic with me. it was nice. i didn't really focus much on painting, obviously, but it was a 'start' in that direction. i hope to incorporate such activities into my regular repertoire.

trying to convince myself that i look good for my age. considering i don't maintain the most optimal diet and exercise program. yeah. hm.

carrots onions potatoes cooked in homemade chicken stock i ended up blending this a little with a 'boat motor' as emeril calls it. then i froze it all.

jasmine rice made in homemade chicken stock
trying to be really frugal these days.

hi neighbor

2009-06-30T07:07:00.000-07:00

this game sucked me in! farm town on facebook! won't you be my neighbor?

yes

2009-06-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Red Robin does have good burgers.

gorgonzola
smiling burger
i refuse to eat shredded iceberg lettuce, however. or raw onions. those came off.

yum
so good
mine had avocado, swiss, bacon. i guess i left a few strands of shredded iceberg, but it is just so 'uncool', man.

where i go

2009-06-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

we walked to this 'park' which is near my house. i'd never walked there before, but it's actually pretty cool. well, i don't think this is actually part of the 'park' but it's interesting nonetheless.

my son is taller than i am

i'm sad now

2009-06-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

r.i.p. michael jackson

it won't be long

2009-06-25T06:38:00.000-07:00

around town are these suess-themed window paintings advertising for the fair.

also around town are cherry trees galore! i am compelled to eat at least one lovely, juicy, fresh, ripe cherry from each tree i pass.

i have many compulsions.

pretty sure that girl knew i was taking her pic. but i tried to pretend like i was just looking at my camera or something.

ha, i dreamed that i did a background check on myself and a bunch of my blog posts came up as what employers would see when contemplating hiring me. nice. (not)

steady

2009-06-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

i feel like i am way behind on the blogging thing.
preoccupied with other stuff right now.
this pic is from a week ago.

sometimes uploading pics just isn't at the top of my priority list.
i enjoy it, but time isn't always readily available for that.
have to play farm town on facebook.
y'know?
it's way addictive.

voyeuristic ally

2009-06-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

sometimes my dreams are prophetic.

okay, so more about the third eye blind concert.
i'll be blogging about this for another week probably! ha. oh well.

while sitting in the park for a hundred years, waiting leisurely for the concert to start (for five hours!) we listened to third eye blind on the iphone! haha.
setting the mood.

and i voyeuristically snapped surreptitious photos of passersby.

fresh water
and watched people cool off in the fountain.

even though we got there so early and had our little spot with our blanket and ice chest and shade, once the concert started we were quickly encroached upon by the gathering crowd (free concert in the park) and had to give up our spot only to very soon be packed in tighter than sardines in a can. more like anchovies.

i stood on my tiptoes for about an hour straight. i think i still have weird sore muscles in strange areas on my legs. the tops of my feet were really sore. felt bruised that night.

being engulfed by this huge crowd of mostly twenty-somethings was overwhelming at first and i sort of emotionally shut down for a few minutes until some nice people let me put my purse and ice chest and blanket under the chairs they were standing on. they also let me stand on one of their chairs for a few. that small act of kindness helped my mood a bit.

then i started to enjoy the music and my mood quickly improved. everything didn't seem so hostile anymore. i started to relax and go with the flow. realizing: resistance is futile.

third eye blind
the performance was full of energy and sucked me in along with the crowd. everyone was singing along and it was cool to see how happy people were. people were climbing up into the trees to get a better view. it was a short set. maybe an hour and a half. for a while, jenkins wore a top hat. that was cute. some sort of mad hatter-esque type of thing. most of the pics i tried to get were pretty blurry. these are the best ones.

anyway, i get lazy about uploading pics and doing blog posts... so that's all for now, folks.

oh yeah, i cooked the cornish game hens in the crock pot. perfecto!

amply

2009-06-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

pilot speed in san jose
dolla bill y'all
roadies for third eye blind
so this third eye blind concert i went to was in san jose. it was free. the website said it started at 1PM. we got there at 12:30 or maybe a little earlier and nobody was there. after a while i asked someone if it starts at one. NOPE. 5:30!! aack.
so we sat in the park for almost nine hours, all told. OY vey!!!
anyway.... i'm giving all of this info in increments. dragging it out.

classy bathroom shot
so for anyone reading this... you'll kind of understand what it felt like to go to this concert! we basically went WAY out of our way and suffered much inconvenience for the sake of Third Eye Blind. and to be honest, to ME, the pain endured was rewarded.

how do you like my desktop background?

2009-06-21T21:33:00.001-07:00

mantis win my desktop background
tomorrow i am going to cook a couple of pretty large cornish game hens.
not sure exactly what i am going to do with them.
i want to make some sort of rice casserole or something. i don't know.
crockpot?
not sure.

target clothes

buenos noches senors y senoritas!
fajitas!
i don't know.
today i made grilled cheese sandwiches... which were delectable.

gotta figure out this life

2009-06-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

pilot speed
this Toronto band opened for Third Eye Blind. Their sound is like a mixture of Radiohead and Coldplay.

third eye blind guitars

mexican ice cream
shadow feet

every one is

2009-06-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

iced tea
when you embed photos now on buzznet it automatically includes your photo title as a link below the photo. that bugs.

worst tace salad i've ever had
give me a break. i think this was $7. absolutely awful. shredded iceberg lettuce basically what they put on their sandwiches, disgusting. the chips were like those fake tortilla chips. the 'dip' was like mayonnaise with chili powder in it. oh it was just not good. i ate it cuz i was hungry, but i was quite disappointed with my choice. you live and learn. i always deliberate over menus because i of course want to get the 'best' thing. well this was a menu deliberation FAIL.

campfire mural
and now i will never try anything else at that restaurant ever again. i was thoroughly unimpressed. why are there restaurants which serve the most bland, white bread food on the planet and why do they continue to get business? apparently there is a sufficient market for that type of food? gross.

sky burger is fun
wheee!

wrong way
headed to the bay area to see third eye blind.
long story involved there with 8 million pics.
not up to it at the moment, though/

rejected outfit

clear it out

2009-06-16T15:28:00.000-07:00

so, yeah, i've been doing feng shui around my house.
it's been a while since i did that.
and it works.
you should try it.
start with clutter clearing. that is the first step.
out with the old; in with the new.

this is in an art deco post office
old gas pumps
store candy
i've been doing a ton of walking lately.
and also not eating as much... or eating healthier...
more lentils. spincach. salmon. chicken breasts. tuna.

i love when i have dreams that i am in some little thrift store and i am finding the most amazing things for practically FREE! that is the most awesome kind of dream. the only problem would be how will i carry all of this awesome stuff and where am i going to put it?

goodbye purse

2009-06-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

i am a little sad today because i carelessly ruined my H&M purse which i'd
purchased the only time i ever went to H&M ever in my life. not sure how long ago. maybe six months, max.

i leave my bike locked up on the bike rack outside my apartments.
a lot of little kids play around there and every time i go out to ride my bike, they've done something to it. they've done something to mess up my brakes and they always move the seat around and my little rack thing that goes over the back tire.

so anyway, my breaks are messed up and i have to get them fixed.
i rode my bike to the store today and put the groceries in my purse and strapped it onto the rack over my back tire. as i was coasting into my apartment driveway, my purse fell down and started rubbing on my back tire and, not having brakes, i could not stop right away. there was, therefor, a big huge ugly tire-mark hole worn into the bottom of my lovely purse. *sad face*

i have another purse i can use... and the H&M one was actually awkward and unwieldy, but it still saddens me.

electric lilac

2009-06-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

my birthday cards.

today i spent a lot of time painting while listening to yogis and gurus on youtube.

bought some soap. then realized i had two bars in my cabinet already. oops. oh well, i can always use soap, i guess.

trying out my new hat.

i hate these stupid shorts
but sometimes i think, well, i AM 36, maybe i should wear mom-shorts.

here we have my painting
progress on lord ganesha painting ganesh
lighting!
so anyway. i've done more on the painting since these pics.
good afternoon, good evening and good night!

picking daisies

2009-06-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

picked some daisies yesterday.

went 'fishing' by the 'river'.

yep.

these are the lentils i made the other day. had to freeze most of them. made way too many.

goodbye to that shirt! hate it.
this is kind of funny. i got that shirt at a yard sale. it's DKNY so i was a little stoked to get it for a quarter. but then i realized it made me look pregnant.
so i put it in the donation box in the laundry room. yesterday, this girl (woman) i kinda know walked by me in 'town' and she had it on. yeah. i don't like it.
i am so sick of this 'maternity top' trend that seems to be how every shirt for women is made these days. i go to a store, see a top that is pretty, sure. all the shirts seem to be the same style. but even that white one i was wearing yesterday, (see above) makes me look like i have a huge gut. it's like they are trying to make you 'disguise' your gut but it actually accentuates it. i'll admit, i've got a little bit of a 'muffin top' ew. a 'pot belly'? gross. there are just not any pleasant terms to describe it. and then my scoliosis accentuates it because it is really an effort for me to 'stand up straight' i have to consciously contort my body and it's uncomfortable. but anyway. yeah. i need to start going to yoga and never drink beer again. i hate beer it is SO filling and dumb. it's like you have to drink six beers to get a decent buzz and then you're so full it's uncomfortable. why do people torture themselves so? not worth it. can you imagine sitting around drinking six sodas in a row? but people do that with beer. i'm sure some people do it with sodas, too, but... not the same way.

see? i'm a sandwich artist

2009-06-10T09:40:00.001-07:00

blt

not a narcissist

2009-06-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

but i am vain.

Your result for The Narcissistic Personality Inventory...

Your Narcissism Score is 4!

According to Psychologists, the average narcissism score is 15.3 -- or 17.8 for celebrities.For more information, check out the article on Wikipedia.

Take The Narcissistic Personality Inventory at HelloQuizzy

my results

give'r to me

2009-06-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

clearest pic i could get of my little worry dolls. i think my camera batteries were dying at the time.

this is what i had for dinner on the night honoring 'the night of my birth'
first i ate all the shrimp. then mixed the greens in with the pasta. yum.

here is a random picture of people kicking it by the river. hawt.

let's go grocery shopping

2009-06-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

it's fun to go to the grocery store

and see things like head cheese.

and fresh garbanzo beans.

waiting for my dinner.

a strange kind of feeling

2009-06-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

so for dinner last night it was johnny rockets for burgers.

i ordered what was basically a junior western bacon cheeseburger... you know, like carl's jr has?

it was really delicious. the fries were nothing to write home about.
basically a waste of stomach space. the burger was too much to eat as it was. but yum.

me doing 'dumb-fake-pout-in-car-pose'

not supposed to take pictures.
they sad that eight hundred times, but did that stop anyone?
no.

i was still deathly afraid of getting caught, so all my pictures pretty much suck. but at least i have SOMETHING to remind me that i was really there.

the concert exceeded my expectations. peter murphy was very entertaining.
he strutted around like a rooster and waved his arms like he was flapping wings.

there were only about 200 people there and it was a small showroom/theater.
i could have gone up and touched his hand but i am too shy and chicken-shitted.

2009-06-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

i got this new floppy black hat for my birthday (which is tomorrow).
i guess it looks kind of witchy.
i still like it tho.

daisies
these are growing outside my apartment and the maintenance dude said i could pick them if i want.

roasted some garlic yesterday.
ate one head. put the other in the pot of lentil soup i made.
it turned out well.
when i eat a bowl, i add some raw apple cider vinegar (with the 'mother' in it)
yum

bracelet
rented Revolutionary Road and Milk to watch today.
it's a rainy day, so, staying in.
except tonight is the Peter Murphy concert.

how do you make crab cakes?

2009-06-05T09:01:00.000-07:00

homemade crabby patties crab cakes
these were just okay.

early birthday surprise!

2009-06-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

my birthday is this coming sunday.
yesterday evening i got something in the mail
and something delivered to my door!
yay!

the card is from my grandma. aw.

what might be inside?

oOoOoh... pretty.
thanks, mom!
i loves!

oh nice.
i was going to make a pot of lentil soup today. wonder if that could go in?

made some food

2009-06-03T13:55:00.000-07:00

yes i made it.
used the last of the quinoa.

had three interviews today.
we'll see what happens.
i'm mailing out more apps as we speak.

it's raining again.

yesterday, there was a woman on the bus who must've poured an entire bottle of perfume she bought at 7-11 all over herself. probably to cover up the alcohol smell. right? that was my guess.

seahorse prosciutto

2009-06-02T10:09:00.001-07:00

every SINGLE time I go to the laundry room in this apartment complex
the same woman is in there doing laundry.
she sets up camp in the laundry room she brings a lawn chair, an ice chest, books,
knitting. and it's so weird. she never says hi or in any other way acknowledges you
when you enter so it's very awkward.
i just ignore her.
i think one time i said hi.
also, as soon as I walk in, she puts her sunglasses on.
she is reading, the room is lit by a large flourescent light.
without her sunglasses on and it's like, why are you putting your sunglasses on?
so you can spy on me out of the corner of your eye?
who knows. it's been happening for weeks, months maybe and
finally today i am just like, that's IT
I am blogging this!
dunno, sometimes things just cry out to be blogged.
i mean, is she ALWAYS doing laundry?
or just every time i go in there?
i don't camp out when i do my laundry.
i throw it in and go back to my apartment, set the timer for twenty five minutes
and go back to throw it in the dryer.

story time

2009-06-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

on the bus yesterday there was this big ole biker dude in leathers with tats and piercings
but he was wearing birkenstock clogs
and his woman was kind of okay in a biker babe sort of way
but she had hair kind of my color
i dunno. but anyway, they were planning a wedding
and she was on the phone with her dad
and she was really LOUD
and bossy
and that chick said to her dad, on the phone, after laughing unnecessarily loudly: "dad. i did not need to hear that you have no ass" and i was like, well, now we ALL know
but it seemed like these two didn't really know eachother very well because after
she got off the phone with her dad, she was like, "i think my dad likes you"
and also, it just seemed like they only met last week or something and he proposed to her.
and she is on probation.
haha
she had fake long pink fingernails
her hair was in two braids, tight from swimming it looked like
and a pink bandana tied over her head
seemed like she kept looking at me out of the corner of her eye
just interesting
and she was all
"on our honeymoon i want to go to HOT august NIGHTS because i have never been to that"
and she was insisting that all the men were going to wear a tux
and look the same
and he kept saying "i am going to wear what i have on right now"
and she said, ,"all the brides maids are going to look alike and all the men are going to look alike"
it was just very interesting to me.

oh and when they got off the bus the busdriver said "have a good night" and the woman said, "oh yeah. planning on it. gonna turn off the phones and everything"

cut ties with all the lies

2009-06-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

hm. looks like buzznet went back to the old layout.
or did i just imagine the whole layout change?
psh.

i ate a sandwich.
a good roast beef, but i've had better.
didn't help that i wasn't feeling well, really...
but i did feel better a little while later.

yeah, i was tired.
just taking pics of the silly hat i bought at a yard sale.
ew. cooties.
it was a nice house, though, and the chick whose stuff it was, she was a cool chick.
i could tell.

i don't usually write a lot on my blog.
it's more for pictures and little short sentences here and there.
i should focus on writing.
but i do a lot of reading.
i like to read.
and the blogs which DO focus on writing, while i can often admit that it's good writing... i frequently feel a funny feeling about it.
it's like people are trying too hard.
but some people are serious about making their blog a source of income.
so, i guess it makes sense to try hard.
my blog is just entertainment for me.
even thinking about putting ads on it feels like selling out.

i've thought about making a new, anonymous blog where i just write whatever
without having to worry how it will impact my real life.
i really wish i would have done that to begin with.
it seems like a pain to do it now, but maybe i should.

in a bullet proof vest

2009-05-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

ahhh it is raining, making the air in my apartment cool and fresh. i love it.
rain is my favorite.

a better photo of the painting i'm working on, now. i still have a lot of detail to add; but, i like it so far. i've put a few hours into it so far.

next sunday is my birthday. number 36. i'm going to see Peter Murphy perform.
yeah, he's old but... he's practically legendarily awesome. isn't he?

there's thunder right now. i just love the rain so much. it mostly reminds me of living in humboldt county. some people would start jonesing for the sun. me? never. cloudy, overcast, never hot is where it's at for me... all the way!

if we lose the fire

2009-05-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

pretty
italian cypress i love you (or monterey cypress, either way).... i don't know cypress.
mixed baby greens, edamame, prosciutto, gorgonzola, lemon juice, olive oil
building
cutecarrie
golden arms. sad pasty legs. poor me.

sweet chalk on sidwalk
sidewalk chalk
dragon
poppy bud
look at that. it's gorgeous. i took twenty pics of poppies. they enchant me just looking at them. i am going to incorporate them into all of my paintings. well, many of my paintings. i'm just going to go in and paint poppies into them. they are intriguing to paint. and nobody cares about my ganesh painting prolly cuz the pics suck. i took some better pics tho. you'll see.

so unusual

2009-05-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

my neighbor says things like:
"i prayed to God that the sun would come up ... i said, 'let there be light' and it happened."

or: "today, i prayed that these wasps would come and now they are here."

yep. there are wasps and the sun rises daily. your prayers were answered.

ritual de lo habitual

2009-05-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

apparently buzznet decided to change everything on their site so now it's like totally different omg! don't make me have to pay attention and think!

change. change. change. the essence of Life.
i wanted to go into that restaurant and get a good pic of those lights, but... alas it was not open.

ma shoon.

here again a picture of a random, retro-cool hotel sign and nice lighting due to a thunderstorm.

and again. dramatic thunderstorm lighting.

an active dude.

dude with stylin hair checkin' out his own groceries. a great way for we 'anti-socials' to shop.

and in this pic i am pretending to look like cate blanchett in the movie bandits.

we're all part of it

2009-05-26T19:21:00.000-07:00

what is your specific sound?

i chose one trip to the salad bar and i got way greedy. it took my two days to eat this. (i always take food home with me whenever i go to a restaurant. well, that's my goal, anyhow. i'm usually full after three bites)

oh, man. how fun would that be?

interpretation

2009-05-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

what do you think that is a drawing of???

i want you to look like you're having a good time

2009-05-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

i can't tell you what's really going on.
nothing really.
i am trying to find a new job cuz i hate my old one.
making resumes and cover letters and filling out applications and reading deepak chopras secrets to success to keep me motivated and positive.
it's easy for me to get negative. i do it a lot.
but positive and happy and serene is the real key to the future.

this doll reminds me of what i looked like when i was little.

i don't even know what that is. just thought it was cool.

possibility

2009-05-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

yesterday i had a vacation.
it was lovely.
i browsed around in over-priced shops, watching people, taking photos.
i saw a lot of things i thought were really cool and things i wanted.
the only things i actually bought were some things at a yard sale where i spent $3.

got these awesome tacos at a taco truck. the peppers burned my face off!

saw Yes Man! for the first time. Laughed so much! Loved that movie.
also, watched The Wrestler. Really good! Marisa Tomei was great. Did she get nominated for that role? I think she should have.

mediterranean restaurant

2009-05-23T11:28:00.000-07:00

annoying questions alert

2009-05-21T16:15:00.001-07:00

i've really been CRAVING a change in my life. i've been so sick of my job, figuring that is what needs to be changed. i've been applying around. i like to try to get in at least one new application every day; but, i took the day completely off today, in that regard. what kind of change do YOU crave?

i've been sorta/kinda working on this painting of ganesh/a. he is the remover of obstacles. one of my christian facebook friends got a little upset about it because he felt maybe like i was worshiping idols. what kind of idols do you worship/not worship?

arty shot from inside that one really cool art store from a few posts back.
what is your favorite color of mannequin?

this is what i look like today.
today i cooked some basmati rice and added pesto to it and a little bit of grated cheese. do you think pesto and basmati rice go together?

mmmmm. espresso/cappucino. too bad i drank two doubles that day. buzz buzz!
do you like coffee better? or tea?

i was bored today and applied tons of make-up then faked a smile in front of one of my unoriginal paintings. when do you wear the most make up?

i made this for breakfast the other day. i am a protein addict. do you like protein? do you like pimiento stuffed olives?

how about brie? mmmmmm. i love brie more than anyone ever should! i think i have a problem.

how about pictures of your knees? have you ever taken a picture of your knees/feet?

haha. do you find all of these questions fun or annoying or stimulating?
what do YOU think?

when i was an alien

2009-05-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

this 'skirt' is an old shirt. i need to cut part of the top part off because it is too long up there and stretched out and bunchy.

that looks pretty fun, doesn't it?

just relax

2009-05-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

this guitar is an early birthday gift from chris.
he's a great guy and that is not a euphemism for 'not interested'.

it is one of my life goals, for seers, to learn how to play guitar so i can sing along with my own playing at campfires and the like.

it was really hot today.
ugh. i am not a big fan of summer heat.

i am, however, a big fan of eggs, bacon and toast.

always more

2009-05-18T06:28:00.000-07:00

went to the lake for a few hours.
there was hardly a soul there. the place was deserted.
i guess everyone is waiting until next weekend? for the big memorial day splash?

see? people get all mad when i take their picture!
(just kidding)
he wasn't mad. i think he was talking.
i still like it tho.

this picture shows the straight side of my body. the other side is curvy.

$2.50 for this! amazing!

i guess that's enough for now.
i always take more pics than i know what to do with.

i think it's glad to see you

2009-05-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

here's my neti pot.

here's me looking all scowlish and grumptastic. as uje.

and here i am riding the bumpy bumpy bus.

all set?

2009-05-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

okay, so today is jury duty.

i went to bed at 7:30 last night, due to exhaustion and i slept until about 6:30 this morning! fantabulous! ah, rest and rejuvenation, i love you.

good sleep is worth more than a lot of other things, to me.
because if i don't get good sleep, my entire world is tainted with a grey, unfriendly tone. when i DO get good sleep, i have a new lease on life.

now, i just need buttloads of free time along with no financial worries and i'll be ALL SET.

freaky deaky

2009-05-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

yesterday, i bought myself a neti pot.
i used it.
it was fun and easy.

i look forward to using my neti pot again.
later.
my cold seems to be going away and i am happy about that.
i think today's gonna be okay.
(despite the little panic attack i had last night because i was worried i'd have insomnia and dreading going to work and oh my gosh the world is coming to an end right NOW)
but i'm ok.
you're ok.

if you worry you make it double

2009-05-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

i've had a cold for a few days now. it's weird.

never quite got said

2009-05-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

gotsta git me one-a those (ew)

do you understand?

2009-05-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

nice, i look pregnant. why do stores make dresses that make women look pregnant when they are totally not pregnant?
is this just a weird paranoia of mine?

this is a different dress which makes me look extremely fat.
this picture isn't so bad, but some of the other pictures i took were like, why!? i am not fat. why do pictures make me look fat? maybe i am fat, and i'm just in denial?

also, the above outfit is funny to me because i look like raggedy ann.
have i mentioned the whole fetish type thing i have for raggedy ann?
someday, when i have a real life, i will collect raggedy ann paraphernalia.
paraphernalia is a funny word.

until my real life descends upon me, i will be here, doing this.
feeling like i'm dying of swine flu, but i think it's just a cold. no fever. no nausea, no diarrhea. just a chest cough, sinus headache, some sneezing. it could be allergies, but it seems a little severe for that.

soon to come, i have so many wonderful pictures. in particular, from this one artsy little store i went into and was floored by every square inch of everything in it.

because of you, my heart sings

2009-05-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

this place had pretty decent fish tacos.

but i cannot deny the best fish tacos i've ever had, that was in Trinidad, CA.

went crystal hunting yesterday.

these are the spoils.

really really cool!

jake is your imaginary friend

2009-05-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

that was just way out of hand.

a much more sensible choice.

i like these kind of old signs.

tall pics

2009-05-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

wouldn't it be nice?

2009-05-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

i have so many photos of these petroglyphs.
maybe i just have severe ADD or something because i simply CANNOT bring myself to upload them all at once and make one big huge post about them.

not sure what the reason really is.
lazy?
easily distracted?
or maybe it's just a choice.

a pretty bead. carnelian, i think

nothing wrong with it

2009-05-05T16:34:00.000-07:00

i just took an afternoon nap and as usual, when i take a nap, i wake up really sleepy and disoriented! but hopefully i'll feel better in a few minutes.

i'm having some iced tea, now.

there. see? trying to get back into the swing of things.

sleep sleep sleepyhead

2009-05-05T01:39:00.000-07:00

it seems as though i am not at all an adequate blogger.
i've concluded that there is no way i can run with the big dogs when it comes to all of this blogging my life crap.
i have become secretive, world-weary, and uninspired.
well, sort of.

i have often thought the more interesting or enjoyable my life gets, the less i care about blogging about it. also, the less time i seem to have to blog about it.

i've said it before and i'll probably say it again because i am repetetive as many humans seem to be. many of our brains just keep running around in the same circles again and again. i just don't see where people have the time to do all the stuff they do. where does time go? i don't know.

i also hate it when i wake up in the middle of the night, completely unable to sleep.

feels like i haven't taken or uploaded any pics of myself for eons.

i think i am just dazzled by the possibilities in life.

here today gone tomorrow

2009-05-04T05:07:00.000-07:00

here to bore you with my thoughts about my job, again!
they should be very thankful, grateful and happy on any day that i decide to show up instead of calling in sick, y'know! i mean, i never call in sick. but i almost always WAnt to!

does it really matter what we say?

2009-05-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

some sort of lichen, i guess.

lower left = sun petroglyph

this is also a petroglyph.
not sure what it's supposed to be or which way is up.

i have a lot more pics of a whole bunch of petroglyphs some guy at work told me about. they are in an undisclosed location.

and it's a pretty cool place.

such one friend that you could find here

2009-05-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

pics from when my sis was here.
graffiti from
inside a park playset tube thingy.

do you think the same person wrote all of these?
all of the handwriting seems very similar.

now that's not a nice thing to write on a child's playset

ain't no party like a west coast party

2009-04-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

i came upon this set-up. i had no involvement with creating it.

someone probably pissed in those apparently unopened bottles, right?

yeah, those are appropriate hiking shoes, eh?
not.

girl on a motorbike

see-thru faded

2009-04-30T05:39:00.000-07:00

yes, i am going to start branching out and feel around for a new job.

it's been a struggle because there are definitely aspects of my job which i like, but there are other aspects which are ruining it for me.

part of my reluctance to stop working there is that i don't like the idea of 'giving up' or the idea that there are people who have been doing that job for years, like 7-10 years and i look at them and think, "if they can do it; i can do it"

i wish. but there's just something about it all that bothers me.
i'd really like to write a book about it, or something extensive.

like a jungle drum

2009-04-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

haven't had the inclination for blogging lately.

right now, i have to get ready for work.
oh man. i wish i could stay home.
so, i have to change my thoughts.
i have to think, "ok, i'm going there to help. they need my help. i will offer it."

a meaningful goal

2009-04-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

i'm going to get myself an acoustic guitar for my birthday.
my birthday's not until june, but i'm on the lookout, now.
i'm going to learn to play by watching youtube instruction videos.

it is one of my goals in life to play acoustic guitar so i can make my own singing cover songs on youtube videos.

where is my motivation?

2009-04-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

this post is using all pics taken by my sister.
it's interesting to see familiar things from someone else's point of view.
she has a good eye.

i guess i was trying to dress like kathie lee gifford?
why is it that i pretty much never feel like cleaning my house.
i haven't always been this way.
something has to motivate me to want to clean
and i just can't find that 'something'

sad trombone

2009-04-24T04:39:00.000-07:00

my sister snuck this photo and quite a few others.
i haven't found the time to get to uploading all the cool pix from her visit.
i am slow!
i am very tired after i get home from work and it seems to take many hours for me to get to a point where i feel relaxed and by then i am ready to sleep.
but i'm going to a be having a little vacation after today.

just a couple of days to catch up on myself being who i am.

information overload!

2009-04-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

it's funny.
at my job there are two "stations"
station one and station two.
I am and always have been a big fan of station two and not so much of station one.

I have requested to always work on station two, but so have quite a few other people.
the two sides of the building are like two totally different worlds!

anyway, today, i discovered one big difference and it explains a lot.
the nurse's aides who tend to do well on Station One have disgustingly saccharine attitudes (in my opinion), while we Station Two people are more negative, sarcastic and complain-y. Shit Talkers, i suppose. But we embrace it and enjoy it.

so today, i'd had enough of the grotesque positive attitudes at station one and had to sneak over to station two for a second to get my 'negativity fix'
whew. so much better.

on station one everyone was all kissing eachother's asses profusely and talking about what a GREAT day it is going to be and how much they LOVE everyone and everything. i almost had to gag.
so i ran over to station two and the CNAs were punching eachother and saying sarcastic insults. it was way much better-o.

i'm like, "You think it's gonna be a great day, oh YEAH? why am i not experiencing this feeling?!"

la dee dee

2009-04-21T13:35:00.000-07:00

my sister is finally here to visit.
she's 18 y'all.
i am twice her age! woot.
or not woot.
but this is the only picture i've taken of us together, since she's been here.
luckily it turned out pretty well.

more photos of our shenanigans later.

dear baby jesus

2009-04-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

i really wish people would stop using loud noisy machinery outside my windows on my days off when it's beautiful weather outside so i can't leave my windows open without feeling horribly annoyed and feeling this feeling of frustration and resistance to excessive peace disturbance.

how do you like my new pajamas?
now that it's too hot to wear them.
but they are still cool.

2009-04-19T15:26:00.001-07:00

amazing!

can we talk?

2009-04-19T04:30:00.000-07:00

i've received some helpful feedback both here and elsewhere
and i realize now that i'm not ready to quit this blog.

i feel that there is a struggle going on in life, for all people on one level or another. Giving in and Giving up are sometimes a temptation.
BUT, the principle of staying the course and not giving in to hate [via the dark side of the force]is a story told throughout time.
many people have paved the path for me.

my blog is not all that important, perhaps, in the grand scheme of things.
it's not that.
it's about Choices.
what will i choose to focus on?

Reverence for Life affords me my fundamental principle of morality, namely, that good consists in maintaining, assisting, and enhancing life and that to destroy, harm, or to hinder life is evil. Affirmation of the world -- that is affirmation of the will to live, which appears in phenomenal forms all around me -- is only possible for me in that I give myself out for other life. --ALBERT SCHWEITZER:

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light. --Barry Lopez, Arctic Dreams

I think that taking life seriously means something such as this: that whatever man does on this planet has to be done in the lived truth of the terror of creation, of the grotesque, of the rumble of panic underneath everything. Otherwise it is false. Whatever is achieved must be achieved with the full exercise of passion, of vision, of pain, of fear, and of sorrow. How do we know ... that our part of the meaning of the universe might not be a rhythm in sorrow? --Ernest Becker

blogging is bad for your health

2009-04-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

i can't take the hate.
i don't feel like it's balanced out.
blogging is the only place i've ever experienced so much hatred being placed upon me and i just don't get it.
well, i guess, one of my ex-boyfriends is the only other place i've experienced so much hate being directed at me.

that's it.
blogging is dead.
being on the receiving end of hatred
it's just not worth it.

the hateful comments i recieve (most of which i delete and then ban the sender)
are not deserved.
not justified.
not welcome.

tell me why i should keep blogging?
i get plenty of entertainment and enjoyment elsewhere.
good-bye cruel blogosphere.
tell me why i shouldn't leave you.

someone besides the haters, tell me what justifies the hate i am dealing with?
what's the point.

i think i am done with hate.

you wanted more

2009-04-17T04:22:00.000-07:00

i slept really well last night. thank goodness.

i really want to travel.
even if it's just a short little trip to somewhere.
how to figure it in?
i have an idea, in mind.
i need to go visit a close family member in Missouri.
well, i've never been to Missouri, so it works for me.
so, okay, universe?
are you listening?
Make It So.

plane tickets are supposed to be cheap right now.
two or three days max, is all i'd want.

also, i need help with my job.
help me not dread it.
please.
or help me find something new and better.

be SUNNY

2009-04-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

unbelievably huge salad.

yesterday's 'easter party' at my job was NOT my cup of tea at all.
i don't like showing up to a 'party' which has been in the planning for weeks only to find there is pretty much nothing going on. there were no decorations. upon arrival, nothing was set up, ready, or planned, it seemed. it was really embarrassing for me. i had been telling my daughter "we're going to an easter party"

now if i would have stuck around for about two more hours, maybe something would have come about... i heard rumors there was food (tho i never saw any).
come on, people. how hard is it to put up a few streamers, buy some cookies, and a few plastic eggs at the dollar store and have the stuff out so people feel like they actually showed up for a REASON!

i don't know why i expected more. the christmas party was no better.

also, the people at my work act very blah.
i left and came back three times and never saw any sign of a 'party'
but apparently my expectations are way too high.
and thru all that running around (i was on foot, with stroller)
i somehow lost my wallet.
retraced my path but never could find it.
fantastic, eh?

also, it was totally freezing cold outside yesterday.
it looks like a nicer day, so far today.
let's hope so.

and btw, kids are GREAT for your self-esteem.
today my daughter said, "you have little boobs like ME, mommy"
(she's three)
and she also said, "you're FAT mommy!"
love it.

come on people, now, smile on your brother

2009-04-15T05:23:00.000-07:00

my neighbor listens to the same song over and over
and especially at 5 AM.
it sounds almost like Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse,
but i think it's something else.
a Christian song, most likely because that is what he mostly listens to.

and i think he practices singing it, too.

hey, if you are mad at me? could you please maybe try not to be mad at me?
it really bugs me when people are mad at me.
it's like, i feel this sense of unfairness.
or like, none of us should be holding onto 'anger'

because what good does it do?
i do get angry, yes... but i try to let it go.
i really do.
you don't believe me, do you?

i just want to love and be loved.
maybe you think i'm a hater.
i don't want to be a hater.
we all have to resist the dark side of the force.

now listen.
please don't think i'm crazy, now.
i'm not crazy.
don't you think it would be impossible for me to have survived the past year of my life if i were insane?
if only you knew.

today will be good.
i am gonna take my daughter to the easter party at work.
run some errands.
i want to go to a couple of thrift stores and maybe walmart.

i canceled my cable because the internet is all i need.
and the cable company charged me nineteen dollars to cancel.
that blows.
same thing with the gym.
fine, people....
squeeze out every last drop.
y'know?

HAVE A NICE DAY! :-D

2009-04-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

found this on the ground while walking to work.

the cupboard was bare

2009-04-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

my new goal is to write lists of my goals.
otherwise nothing is ever going to get accomplished.
i'm much too daft to remember what i want to do, or buy, or anything.

these images are from one of the many murals in this town where i live.
my most recent art instructor painted them.
i miss being in a painting class.
i paint really really well, when i have an audience, or competition.
otherwise my motivation is next to nothing so my paintings are really really lazy.
i am just so unmotivated in general, lately.
i painted what could be considered a tryptic... the theme of which is birds flying in the sky. now i just need to locate some tacks to hang them on my bedroom wall. there is a perfectly good blank area on my wall, just waiting.

(no, i'm not pregnant, even tho i look pregnant here. it's how i was standing. and my shirt)
so, i'll add thumbtacks to my shopping list.
along with a bunch of food.
i've been using up all of the food i currently have in the house,
but i'm really getting down to the slim-pickin's right about now.
time to start making a list.
jeez, i'm repetetive.

music keeps me alive

2009-04-13T04:48:00.001-07:00

tried on a few swimsuits.
i'll stick with one-peices, covered by sarongs, thanks.

you know what?
my job is so difficult, it is so so so so difficult.
have i mentioned that before?
i've got to start looking for something else or something.
every day i have to work, i am afraid.
i have to really psych myself out to face it.
once i clock in, there is no respite from the insane struggle to keep working and not walk right out the door.
the only redeeming quality is knowing i am truly helping and providing a much-needed service. it's not the people i'm helping which makes it difficult.
it's the structure, the administrative failures...

i'm being purposely vague here.
it's a touchy subject.

stop looking at my bum, bumlooker!

2009-04-12T20:08:00.001-07:00

today, work was HARD.
but my evening wasn't that horrible.
so i guess it all evens out in the end.
the end.
until tomorrow.
time to go to bed and read!

happy easter

2009-04-12T04:59:00.001-07:00

i'm working today

nothing special

2009-04-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

trying on swimsuits.
no big whooop
i can tell it's springtime cuz the frogz are doing their chirrrrrrping business.
i like that.
it is coooooool.

so tell me how u want it?

And NO, Twitter is NOT about to SINK. get realzies.

try her on, she fits like a glove.

i like to listen to songs over and over again.

ooooont, i want to cover my aging body with tattoos.

to me, my life is really boring.

2009-04-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

it's not just my blog that's boring, dewdz/
it's my life.
my life
my life
my life.

that kitty in the window

2009-04-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

this kitty lives in a pet store.

i won't let you down

2009-04-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

perhaps you've noticed now that facebook and twitter are taking over the galaxy, nobody cares about BLOGs anymore!

OH WELL>>>>>
GOOD!

i can blog and not have to worry about weird people obsessing over every tedious detail of my life. or not. it doesn't matter. when i started blogging i never ever ever ever ever thought anyone would EVER read it. *shrug*

there's a lot less of a feeling of Pressure that way, isn't there?
it's back to blogging whatever the hell i want and not worrying about it.
that's where the fun is!

but maybe some ppl will be bummed cuz they thought their blog was gonna make them a bunch of money. i wonder if personal individuals will now try to make their money off of facebook and twitter? no doubt they will.
that's what my "Real job" is for.
i've never been big on attaching money-making to my creative outlets.
it tends to put a damper on things, for me.
it's weird.
i'd rather GIVE my art away.
thinking someone is supposed to buy it gives me 'artist's block'
\\\\\

well, it is for that and it is also for other things like a sense of purpose and personal satisfaction that i am doing something which matters in the world. cuz it really does. to me and to the other people to whom it matters. (my job, the people i work with and for.... etc)

the people at my job are starting a Bunco group and i thought i should go ahead and join when i was asked because i am usually very antisocial and prefer to spend my time on my own terms... but then i think, sometimes, well, i should get involved and be more sociable and it wouldn't kill me, would it? but then i found out i am supposed to host bunco at MY HOUSE at some point and i was picturing, like, 28 ladies or some outlandish such number at my house and i am like, there is NO EFFING WAY. i would have to CLEAN my house, for one thing and also THERE IS NO ROOM. maybe i could go to my old church and ask them to let me have my bunco night there! criminy.
how do you spell criminy? too lazy to look it up at the mome.

there are also a million other 'joiner' things going on at my work lately, since we have a new, laid back administrator. i'm like tempted but resistant all at once. i don't like the idea of giving up my personal free-time, but sometimes i feel the need for social contact. it's a CoNunDrum. don't like feeling 'obligated' makes me want to back out.

there's a Softball Team and an Activities Group and An Easter Get-Together.
GARSH. WHY? i understand the sentiment and it would be awesome if i could get into that, but i cherish my at-home, not-at-work time. y'know? plus, i have bad memories about myself in relation to involvement with sports. and social situations. argh. i blush; and get all stammery and it just isn't fun. i sometimes feel so awkward and almost cripplingly shy, but NOT ALWAYS. it's sort of unpredictable.

nothing to say but, 'how's your day?'

2009-04-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

last night i went to bed at 7pm and woke up at 10pm but then could NOT go back to sleep until about three in the morning and had to get up for work at FIVE am.
ughhhhh

also my neighbor was having one of his 'flip out sessions' where he starts going out on his porch in the middle of the night and gutturally yelling, "LET THERE BE LIGHT" and other various things at NOBODY. v. annoying.

i've been getting tons of compliments on my hair. WIN.

sure, i could use a tan... but i don't tan well.
i burn.
it takes me all summer to get a golden glow which disappears after three days of no-sun.

trespassers will

well, babes. gonna go to bed. i want to try to watch idol, but i think my time would be better spent reading my Og Mandingo's University of Success.

p.s. if u worship Lindsay Lohan, you have no room criticizing me in any way.

LADY CARRIE

2009-04-07T01:33:00.000-07:00

the word lady bugs me.
to me it is an insult.
hahahhaaaa

artistic photos of nature

2009-04-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

whenever the weather's nice where i live, and i'm at home, and i open the windows... within about ten minutes, without fail, the maintenance man starts running the lawnmower right underneath my window. i really hate loud noises.
going for a walk today, about twenty different unnecessarily loud cars had to drive by me and scare me half out of my wits.

i cannot STAND vehicles that make loud noises.
i am not impressed, dude, that your car sounds like an effing airliner driving by me on my spring day stroll around town.
all i can think is that the person driving that car is rude, inconsiderate, selfish, and uneducated or just totally irresponsible.

had a nice walk to the park.
bought a few groceries.
got way too hot again after having left my apartment wearing a sweater and a scarf cuz i was freezing in there!

but just wait until it's summer.
there won't even be the slightest breeze through my apartment even if i leave the windows open and fans on all day and all night.

cold feet

2009-04-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

my house is way colder inside than when i go outside. this morning i decided to walk to the store and i got dressed based on how cold it feels in my house and then while i was walking i was totally hot and had to strip of two layers. that bugs.

of course, on my day off, my work calls me to see if i want to work.
the thing is, they knew FULL well yesterday that they didn't have enough people but did they think ahead and handle the problem? no. they wait til the last second, like most people tend to do, i guess.

oooh fun!

2009-04-05T09:02:00.001-07:00

a fun outfit. by carriemeaway featuring Stella McCartney necklaces
have fun pretend shopping at polyvore.
this is some stuff i like.

my hair is damp in this pic

2009-04-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

Hiiii

2009-04-03T17:27:00.000-07:00

this is what i do on my days off.
no, but when i was a kid, i was a sheep-rider.
or not.

i DID go bowling the other day, howevs. i am severely slacking on my uploading and dealing with photos. when will i show you my newly cut hairdo?

maybs in four days, since it's been four days since i went bowling and i don't even have all of THOSE pix uploaded, yet. too busy watching oprah and tyra.

and drawing hamburgers on giant white tees with a sharpie.

pre-haircut.
had a good day at work today.
also working tomorrow.
this morn when i was trying to ride my bike to work, i shifted gears while i wasn't pedaling due to not sitting on my seat because it was frozen and my stupid chain got stuck and i had to lock up my bike to the nearest fence and walk the rest of the way to work! COOL.